Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) ~ Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

I was at a graveside a few years ago and witnessed something which I hope I never see again. A middle aged man was weeping bitterly over the grave of his brother whom he had just buried. He kept weeping with aching sobs, the sound of which tore at my heart. Time and time again he said, “John, I am sorry, so sorry.” You see, they had fallen out and neither of them had spoken in years. All the family events they missed, because if one came the other did not turn up. They even broke their mother’s heart, as she was put in the middle of it all by their petty behaviour. How it broke her heart that her two sons would not speak to each other. But in the end it was too late, as the man was now his knees weeping bitterly at the graveside of his brother. 

Over the years I have learnt something that is now a safeguard to my spiritual and natural life. You can win the debate, but lose a whole lot more in the process. It then becomes a “penal victory”, one in which you lose more than you win, where the cost outweighs the victory.

Some things are just not worth arguing over. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:27 (NIV), “Don’t let the devil get a foot hold.” Don’t let a misunderstanding become a feud. It is not about playing the blame game and finger pointing. Just remember the wise proverb, “He who flings mud, will lose ground.”

Unforgiveness will eat away at you and it will embitter you until you are deaf and blind to the truth. You will reach a point where everyone is wrong except you. Unforgiveness will hold you bound tightly in the chains of anger, revenge, hatred and ungodly thoughts towards other people. It will torture you daily when you think about what did or did not happen. You will lose your joy and your peace, and then, if you do not arrest this tide of evil on the door step, it will kill your walk with the Lord.

Cain was angry at his brother Abel and the Lord spoke to him and said in Genesis 4: 6 to 7 (NIV), “…Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

We, too, must learn to master the sin of anger and unforgiveness. We must not let it so consume us that we become crestfallen, with our minds filled with hatred and our hearts hardened to the love of God.

The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Steal…your joy,

Kill…your peace,

Destroy…your walk with God.

But Jesus has come that you may have life (ZOE, God life) inside you. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:31 to 32 (KJV), “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” 

My friend, somethings are just not worth it. There is power in forgiveness, there is a release as you let go of past hurts and move on. Leave them at the feet of Jesus.

Oh what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear, 

All because we do not carry,

Everything to God in prayer. 

Let the peace of God guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We only have one life, let us live it as free from the stench and poison of unforgiveness as humanly possible. Let us be reconciled, one to another, in the Love of Christ Jesus our Lord and Saviour. 

God bless you my friend, Matthew.